Commissioner Ruling 001

Posted on February 3, 2011 by



Let it be known that hence forth black jerseys for teams who do not have black in their team colors are ridiculous and all those participating in the creation, distribution, purchase, or wearing thereof ought to be beaten with a burning black jersey from a team who has absolutely no business wearing a one. (Evidence and Reasoning below)


USC, home of the Cardinal and Gold....and black?

After watching the Jan. 29th Arizona vs. USC college basketball game I finally snapped that USC wearing an all black uniform combination.  My initial reaction was that USC was responding to former USC basketball star O.J. Mayo’s positive drug test and their jersey selection was a means of mourning.  However, I was soon informed that this was a regular jersey selection and was not a statement of sadness for the career of OJ Mayo.  This jersey was in fact an alternate uniform.  After doing some intense detective work (i.e. thinking about it for 5 minutes).  I realized that USC most certainly does not have black as a school color, they were simply just wearing a “cool” alternate jersey.


Not even "cool" black alternates can pull the D-Toilet Lions out of the cellar.

Now look I love alternate uniforms just as much as the next guy when I’m playing Madden or NBA 2k11 watching a virtual Josh Freeman wearing a sherbet colored Tampa Bay uniform from the 1970s get eaten alive by Jared Allen in his throwback Vikings uniform.  However, this black alternate nonsense is getting ridiculous.  Now teams who have absolutely no black in their team colors at all (I’m looking at you Stanford football, Washington football, Detroit Lions, and Oakland Athletics) are making all black jerseys.  It’s bad enough Oregon is going alternate uniform crazy with their roughly 512 uniform combinations, now we have to deal with teams using colors that don’t even pertain to them.

-Commissioner Storm Byrd