The Joke Is On You

Posted on April 19, 2011 by

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"I think my mouth is JUST big enough to insert my foot in after making such stupid comments."

An article on ESPN.com recently detailed comments by Baltimore Raven’s receiver Derrick Mason regarding NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell and his will to implement testing of Human Growth Hormone (HGH).  It’s no secret that the current NFL labor agreement predicament has brought out the ugly and dumbest comments from players.  Now Derrick Mason has come forward to spat out some ill-advised comments calling Commissioner Goodell’s plan for testing a “joke.”

Mason said, “(Goodell) needs to stop crying about blood tests and HGH…He’s been on this crusade to about HGH, but to me he needs to be on a crusade about getting these owners together and trying to work out a deal.”

Mason also said he did not want to submit to blood testing for HGH; calling it too “intrusive.”  I’ll remember to pull that one out next time those pesky scoundrels with the Red Cross try and guilt trip me into donating some of my blood.  “Sorry, I don’t care, there are other non-intrusive means of saving lifes Red Cross!”

Furthermore, Mason showed off his Michigan State education when he stated “There’s other ways and other methods, I think, to go about testing for (HGH).”  I was unaware Mason got his doctorate during that less than one month retirement hiatus he took back in 2009.  Evidently he’s now well versed in how to catch a pass, and the vast and effective means of testing for HGH.

"You see what I really want is the blood of our best players so I can clone them thereby creating a super team that is under NFL control."

There’s a reason why blood tests are used to detect HGH.  IT WORKS.  Why else would they do it like that?  I don’t see any other motives behind blood testing, unless of course you include the far chance that Roger Goodell is a vampire or that the NFL is on a hunt to get the blood of the NFL players to one day clone them all.  I think the more realistic scenario here is that Derrick Mason has something to hide.

HGH is something plaguing and tainting sports today.  It dilutes the importance of milestones and makes the incredible the norm thus further depreciating the value of extraordinary performances.  Not to mention, HGH has already contributed to extending careers of athletes who otherwise would have retired (Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte anybody?).  Perhaps if we ever get blood testing, we could add Mason to that list.  He certainly saw his numbers and body deteriorating with time which is likely why he retired.  Suddenly, however, Mason has returned and managed to maintain a starting role for two consecutive seasons.  Can you say sketchy?

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Posted in: NFL